Welcome to our first look at our favourite gay holiday. Last year Sweden raised the bar with ‘Euphoria’ which went to number one all over Europe.Hopefully this year will be as memorable with ballads being in vogue rather than clubbier sounds.
So that you don’t start your Eurovision party without any knowledge you should know that our act is Bonnie Tyler with ‘Believe In Me’:
And the host country is Sweden who are putting forward ‘You’ by Robin Stjernberg.
With less than a month to go till the final and now that all the countries have released their song choices it’s time to award the best and worst of this year:
The Will Never Make It To Malmo Award
It’s good to get the bad stuff out of the way first. The country you are least likely to see in the final is Belarus. being a dictatorship means they aren’t too popular with the rest of the competition and often get booed after they perform. Alyona Lanskaya ‘Solayoh’ isn’t even bad-at least it’s more subtle propaganda than ‘I Love Belarus’.
The Snoozfest Award
We couldn’t say whether it’s the monotonous tune, the slow video or the fisherman style, but something about Eyþór Ingi Gunnlaugsson’s ‘Ég á Líf’ makes us nod ofzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
The I Want To Unlisten To That Award
Just listen to Cezar from Romania sing (is that the right verb here) ‘It’s My Life’. It has got to be heard to be believed.
And now we have the worst ones out of the way we can listen to the fun ones such as
The Row of Tents Award
There are unicorns, hummingbirds, and mating butterflies made out of blue light. Well done Ukraine, ‘Gravity’ can’t get much camper. Luckily for Zlata Ognevich the song is catchy so we can ignore the obvious green screen and odd imagery (well just about).
Sadly the song also has some of the worst lyrics ever written. ‘Nothing comes from dreams, but dreams’ and ‘nothing comes from pride, but pride’ get The Did They Actually Sing That? Award.
The Whitney Would Be Proud Of This Award
Ballads are in this year, but not every country has done them well. It needs to feel epic, talk about love, and have a belter of a note that makes your neck tingle. You need to be able to imagine it could be sung by Whitney Houston herself. Russia is the closest to this. ‘What If’ has got a simple melody, a fun middle 8 and an epic finale. The irony is not lost that Russia is putting a song forward about putting down guns and becoming peaceful together. Yeah we don’t buy that even if Dina Garipova does sing it beautifully.
The anti-Barbara Dex Award
Every year there is partially official Barbara Dex award for the worst dressed live performance. But we want to be encouraging, so lets award the best dressed act so far. This year’s winner is Aliono Moon from Moldova. Her dress is one of many colours as it’s pattern changes through out the performance. A particular great moment is when it becomes the night sky showered in falling stars. Having electronic clothing is very on trend as artists try up the stakes for their live gigs. Both Azealia Banks and Will.i.am have done so in the past. Although this isn’t as good as those stars (it is Eurovision after all) the effect works. Fingers crossed the same team will help her with the semi-finals and finals.
Now for three most coveted awards: Hotties Awards, Bookie’s Favourite, and #Drag Act Of The Year.
This award was hotly contested last year and this year is no different.
The first winner is Gianluca Bezzina from Malta. In the video for ‘Tomorrow’ we see his lovely smile, snappy red trousers, and great skin and we just want to put him in our pocket and take him to meet our mothers. The ‘geeky’ model also helps this be an obvious winner of a Hottie Award.
Next up is Farid Mammadov from Azerbaijan. There must be something in their waters because the men from their seem to be consistently handsome with striking features. The ‘Hold Me’ singer is definitely a candidate for deportation for being too hot.
Those who like beards will love this act. Greece’shas that rugged masculine charm that has been more popular over recent months. They are also singing about free alcohol. Either it’s just about Europe’s love of alcohol or it’s about how the money Germany gave Greece was free, but ultimately bad for it. Either way what a great song and what handsome men who get to see it.
A Hottie Award isn’t always given for the main act. Slovenia’s Straight into Love by Hannah has dancers and they have amazing bodies. With Magic Mike like moves and abs to match this act is H O T. Oh and they also get wet in slow motion.
And finally a cutie who combines the greatest part of all the other winners. He has a beard, a cute face, great smile, and probably abs under that t-shirt. Oh Andrius Pojavis we would go to Lithuania to find you.
And then a bonus extra clip that is just too hot not to share. It comes from Melodifestivalen, which is Sweden’s X-factor style Eurovision competition. One of the songs called Hello Goodbye is a duet sung about not wanting to continue a one night stand. Originally sung by Erik Segerstedt (guy) and Tone Damli (girl) in a rehersal it got sung by two guys! Erik was joined by Mattias Andreasson for this sexy post sex song. Enjoy
Thanks to Odds Checker gamblers among you can see that the safe bet is Denmark this year. It’s easy to see why-‘Only Teardrops’ is a good song, Emmelie De Forest’s voice is strong, and there is a folklore feeling thanks to the penny whistle and drums. It is following the same recipe as Norway’s Alexander Rybak who won in 2009. But keep in mind this year there is no ‘Euphoria’ so it is still anyone’s game. Ukraine, Norway, Russia, and the Netherlands are also strong favourites. But whoever you vote for may the odds always be in your favour.
#Drag’s Act Of The Year
Since it is anyone’s game this year #Drag are rooting for Finland. Their song ‘Marry Me’ is everything a great pop song needs to be.It’s catchy and never leaves your head; the singer dresses like more of a mess than Ke$ha and Detox on a night out; and they use no words as lyrics. What more could you ask for from this guilty pleasure? It is a shame that some of the lyrics are close to winning The Did They Actually Sing That? Award. Lines like “I’m your slave, you’re my master’ or ‘I feel like skipping dinner so I get thinner’ set feminism back about 50 years.But singer Krista Siegfrids is so adorable and puts her heart into the song so we sort of forgive her.
If you want more music for your summer check out our Spotify playlist.
Have you seen all this year’s acts? Are there any awards you’d disagree with? Or even any awards we have missed?