RuPaul’s Drag Race Recap: Season 5; EP9 Drama Queens

Alyssa Edwards had been in the bottom two twice, but this didn’t shak her confidence. In fact it’d improved it as she had made it through twice. She said  she would lip sync her way to the top as she “is a performer not an actress”. Roxxxy Andrews and Coco Montrese argued that it would be  unfair for her to win like that. It’s true Alyssa has some great moves, but the winner should be great at every aspect of Drag, not just the dancing.

Alyssa’s move

Jinkx Monsoon, possibly spurred on by the loss of Ivy Winters, confronted Coco over her attitude in the last epsiode (you go Jinkxey). She felt that Coco and some of the other contestants belittled her and Alaska for being “comedy queens”. Coco and Alyssa simply brushed her complaints aside. As Alaska put it, the best way for the “comedy freaks” to get back at the “pageant queens” was to do better than them.

It’s a Jinkx-Coco throw down

Unfortunately for Alyssa more acting was required this week. Ru asked the contestants to cry on cue for the mini challenge. The girls all got into a circle after putting on a heavy amount of mascara. They  recited tragic tales of  heartbreak, sex addiction, and name calling. It was Detox that brought on the water works as she told the group about the death of her boyfriend two years ago. Would it be mean to point out how surprising it is that someone made up ofmore plastic than Danni Minogue was able to cry? Yes I think that would be too far. Forget I said anything.

#CryYourEyesOut

It was no surprise that Detox won the mini challenge. What came as a shock was that Alyssa also won the challenge. Maybe the girls pushed pins into their legs to block her out?

The winners got to choose the teams for the main challenge, which was another acting one. The two teams would have to act out a telenovela scene. Alyssa was not happy that she had to act again and Coco was furious that it was yet another team task.

Detox decided to reform Ro-Laska-Tox so the second team was made up of Alyssa, Coco, and Jinkx, all who had fought earlier on in the episode. Perhaps their passion would work in the Spanish based drama task? Seems unlikely doesn’t it.

Alaska was nervous about being back with Ro-Laska-Tox. It was the first time the clique has been together since she’d broken away and the clique veener had gone. Alaska didn’t believe her teammates were serious enough. But the team’s over the top antics work well for the novela’s in-your-face style.

While Ro-Laska-Tox’s preparations was loud and brash, the other team’s was more subdued because there was no chemistry. Alyssa didn’t trust her teams and saw Coco’s attempts to help her as sabotage. To complete her outfit Alyssa borrowed some of Jinkx’s clothes. As Jinkx pointed out they were different sizes and the clothes didn’t properly fit Alyssa. Her use of someone else’s wardrobe convinced Coco that it was time for Alyssa to go.

Ro-Laska-Tox were the first ones to shoot in front of Ru and special guest Maria Conchita Alonso and with gorgeous leading man Wilmer Valderrama.

Too sexy for his own good

Ro-Laska-Tox had was very slow. They lacked the zip that heigthens a novela’s drama. The long pauses made it feel more like the stilted acting in Hollyoaks rather than a dramatic tale. Team Alyssa (why do they not get a cute name? Jocyssa? Clynx?) had their own problems. While Jinkx served up some Sofia Vergara realness with  fire and passion Alyssa went for subtly. While this may work on the globe it misses the whole point of novelas. While Jinkx’s orgasms and dry humping of furnitute brought the house down, Alyssa’s were whimpers. I don’t know whose she been with recently, but they have not been treating her right. Then Coco starts forgetting her lines due to the sheet hotness that is Wilmmmeer Vallderrrrrrama (that’s meant to be read with a Spanish ‘r’ roll). Everyone was nervous what the finished project will be like. Even if neither come out well at least they had fun pulling faces.

Ru caught Jinkx by surprise

Detox missed a bit of her morning routine

The theme for the runway was all things Latino and the girls didn’t disappoint the judging panel, which included Maria Conchita Alonso and Jamie-Lynn Sigler.

Detox

Roxxxy

The 49th state

Alyssa Edwards

Got the dramatic pout down

Trick or treat?

Both novela’s were cringe to watch, as none of them are really screen actors. Though the judges seemed to enjoy them so maybe I am missing something. I guess tastes are different over the ponds. Both Alaska and Roxxxy were complemented on their performances and runway looks. Detox was tol that her hat was too campy compared to the rest of the outfit and she wasn’t a large enough presence.

Alyssa’s outfit and performance were both negatively critiqued. Santnio said her dress was one of the worst he had seen in all five seasons. But Alyssa didn’t take this lying down. She gave the panel the same speech she gave the girls. How she will win the lip sync every week if she has to as she is an entertainer. Again Jinkx was nervous about how she did and again she was showered with compliments. Jamie-Lynn said she was perfection in the novella while Michelle and RuPaul both thought her outfit was a lot fo fun. All the panel agreed that Coco’s outfit worked, but her acting did not.

For the second time Jinkx was the week’s winner thanks to her great acting and fierce costume choice. This makes Jinkx a likely winner as she is the first girl to win two tasks. Both Coco and Alyssa were up for elimination. The rivalry that had been building up all season finally came to a head. Both girls had been wanting this from day one and now they could finally prove who was the superior queen.

They danced to Cold Hearted by Paula Abdul and Coco used her rapid mouth to mime all the words flawlessly. Alyssa couldn’t compete with that, but she did have a move up her knickers. Namely a jump into the splits that must have torn something. Although it was a tight finish Coco is declared the winner.

Are you happy that Alyssa has gone? Was it good way to end the feud? Let us know in the comments below. If you’ve missed any other episodes click here to catch up.

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